Far Away From City Lights

The days here clear away prior feelings of estrangement. The familiarity of this place extends to the roads I walk, to the wildflowers I pick. And to the people I cross, whom I have not seen for the longest. It’s the warmth of family. I am home.

Routines settle me in, and my days become simple. The complexity of aging parents slowly becomes a living condition. Their souls, still young at heart, laughter and friendly wordplay, a favorite pastime, are also weary with the aches, which are plenty. And the layers of the past mix with the present moment, in a dance as tricky and beautiful as the swirling movements of a couple embracing in a valse.

I find that I slowly let go of all notions of productivity and slide into the nothingness of just existing along the time slots for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I enjoy the hours of the day with the sun passing over the house and setting in the horizon. My head falls back, as I close my eyes to listen to the birds and their evening song of summer. In that moment I feel a deep love for this place, my parents have created.

From the front porch, my father and I silently watch the green fields of barley turn golden. The moist odor, like a brewery, finally clears, and turns into a crisp ringing when the wind waves move through the fields. Then the heads nod downwards, heavy with the fruits of the soil, and you know the harvest is near.

On this peninsula, where my parents’ house is, the stars shine brighter at night. Here, far away from any major city lights, the night is darker and the quietness is deeper. My mother taught me to watch the night sky for the meteor showers. I remember how we would stand close in the freezing cold winter night, everyone home for Christmas, and wait for the show to begin. Spellbound we would stare up at the stars, in awe, and see shooting stars streaking across the dark night sky. Lines of light drawn across the deep blue with a quick brush by an invisible hand. We would then make our wishes. And laugh to each other at the sheer magic we just witnessed.

I wonder about these stars. I wonder about stars that orbit together around a center of gravity, how they are bound to each other.

Never doubt that a star is on the right trajectory. That it could have been any different, I remind myself.

We are bound to nature’s cycles and to those of the universe. But will the time it takes for the two stars to orbit into alignment become shorter over time, and will this celestial event where two stars eventually align, mean they build entire new worlds?

I look back at my parents’ house and I think I know the answer. It is not hidden in the stars, but visible to the eye that cares to see.